Hello everyone!
I know I have been quiet on here for the past couple of months but I have a good reason for that. I’m pregnant! I wanted to write about it sooner but I had to wait until everything was more safe and I felt comfortable enough to share the news.
I am currently 14 weeks, which means I just started the second trimester. Now, I want to share what those first three months were like for me. A lot of people often say that pregnancy is amazing and sometimes you get a little “morning sickness” but it’s all worth it in the end.
Well, I am here to say that, pregnancy sucks and I hate it and I think that’s okay.
It’s better now I admit, but for a few weeks I felt absolutely terrible and I hated it. Now I just miss all of the things that I can’t do now that I am pregnant. I never thought that I would miss drinking as much as I do now. Just being able to have a glass of wine when I wanted or having drinks on the weekend or being able to have a drink socially. It really sucks. Especially when I watch my husband bring home drinks from the store or watching him have a glass of whiskey at night…I get jealous. Also, not being able to eat certain things. You think at the time, oh well that’s not a big deal, I can’t eat deli meat… Well when you crave it all the time, then it starts to get annoying.
Anyways, here are things that I personally experienced in the first trimester of my pregnancy.
I journaled a lot of my symptoms and feelings in the beginning, which I am happy I did because I can’t remember much now.
4-5 weeks: I went to my regular doctor to confirm the pregnancy and to check my HCG levels. I also wanted to talk to them about going off of my anxiety/depression medication because the certain medication that I was on, isn’t really recommended to take while pregnant. Before I got pregnant and also when I found out that I got pregnant, I honestly didn’t think that I could get pregnant or be able to stay pregnant because of my mental health issues. So that was the reasoning of why I really wanted to check the HCG levels, to see if they matched to how far along I was. Symptom wise I was feeling tired, my boobs hurt, I was having cramps, I was grumpy and I was starting to feel nauseous. I was starting to feel a bit anxious about having a baby because when I grew up, I never wanted kids and have never really like kids. I am still struggling with these thoughts, the anxiety around that comes and goes.
7 weeks: I had stopped journaling as much around this time because this is when I started feeling bad. The combination of withdrawal symptoms from going off my medication and just pregnancy symptoms were taking a toll on me. It started with having such bad gas pains and then went on to having really bad morning sickness.
8-10 weeks: These weeks were the worst. I was sick all the time. Some days I couldn’t move much. If I got my heart rate up at all, I would almost be sick. I ended up losing around 10 pounds from just not eating. I was dizzy, sick, tired, anxious, depressed and just not happy. Luckily, I started feeling better around the end of week 10. I could eat again. Goldfish lol but I was able to eat and move around and actually feel like myself.
11 weeks and now: My nausea has almost completely gone away. I gag/dry heave in the mornings sometimes. Sometimes from the smell of the fridge or sometimes from just brushing my teeth. That is weird for me because I never used to gag from things before. I started showing a bit, I have a super small baby bump. Now I just have the usual symptoms, tired, back pain, bigger boobs and what not.
My anxiety has been slightly elevated, which I knew would happen from going off my medication. It’s really bad on Monday mornings before work. I have a hard time getting to work in the mornings. I’m trying to avoid high anxiety/stressful situations as much as I can. So If I don’t feel well enough to go to work, I will stay home or work from home when I can. I personally feel that my mental and physical health is my top priority and way more important than work right now.
My hopes going forward is to work on my eating habits and to eat healthier. I also want to workout at least three times a week, which hopefully will be more motivating for me now that the weather is nicer.
I have a lot more thoughts on pregnancy and babies and mental health and my journey in general, so keep a look out for all of that. I want to keep this post as it is, otherwise I will just keep rambling and going on to way too many topics.
So, bye for now!
Chelsea Dwyer 