My Addictive Personality

Something that I have been thinking about lately is my personality and how I’ve always been easily addicted to things.

Luckily most of the things that I have been “addicted” to are harmless but I have always worried about the harmful things.

For example, I have never tried smoking a cigarette, even when offered to me. Besides the fact that cigarettes gross me out and are bad for your health in general. I just know that I would get addicted to them, so I never tried.

Something that I am addicted to now is watching South Park…..now I know that sounds silly but it can get a bit too much sometimes. It can start to take over my life and seep into my personal and work environment. I’ll watch it at my desk, I’ll watch it while eating dinner, working out, getting ready for bed, in bed falling asleep to it. I had to subscribe to HBO Max so I could watch the seasons.

Now the obsession of South Park came about when I saw that the two games were on sale on the Nintendo Switch store. I had played one of them before and really enjoyed it. So I bought them…..and then became obsessed with it. I played one of the games twice through. Once I got tired of playing the games constantly and falling asleep with my switch in bed with me. I decided to just watch the series.

My addiction/obsession with something always starts somewhere and for a reason. It can go away but something will usually replace it soon after. Sometimes I have multiple obsessions at once. I also have been playing Skyrim on the switch but it hasn’t got to the point of playing it in bed.

Sometimes I can see this type of personality being a good thing. Occasionally I’ll get obsessed with working out and on those weeks I’ll do really great with my fitness goals but that only lasts about a month and then it’s gone.

I also get addicted to eating super healthy sometimes but I know that gets into the Orthorexia territory which can be very scary to think about.

When it comes to the more harmful parts of having this type personality…… I have issues with self harm. More so dealing with it in the past but that can get bad. Also, most of the time it can cost me money and lots of unnecessary time.

When I do get addicted or obsessed with something…I get these feelings of, I need to have it right now. I get restless and inpatient and annoyed when I don’t have whatever it is right in front of me.

If it’s something that I know I won’t have for a long time, I can get very depressed about it (more than my usual depressive state). It can cause more anxiety and panic and for something that I can’t have at the moment? It sounds ridiculous I know but it’s something that I can’t really control.

I’m sure there are some underlying issues here ..haha but for now I deal with it the best I can. Having a good support group in my life is definitely helpful with these issues.

So, has anyone else had these type of feelings before? Start a conversation about it in the comments below!

Maybe knowing someone else has this type of problem will help me or you out.